THE GOLDEN CAGE
BUILDING A SYMBOLIC CAMERA
The development of the symbolic camera element was a challenging creative process. It took me several days to settle on the final concept for the camera, which continued to evolve during the making process.
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An initial introspection exercise explored in our first seminar, allowed me to set an intention for the film, by encouraging me to consider the meaningful personal experiences that had a sense of pertinence. This exercise also highlighted the root of my interests and a desire to create something intensely personal.
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I knew this would probably encompass some exploration into significant trauma, so I chose to utilise the shape of a human head to encourage me to remain mindful of my participants and their response to the process. I was keen to always bring my awareness back to supporting my participants fully through the filmmaking process, to be grateful for their vulnerability and to accept their multiple expressions without judgement.
The eye sockets remain empty as a nod to the introspection and self-reflection this journey might require of me. I feel certain that to produce a good film, I need to consider how my social relationships will influence the narratives offered and that my own experience might implicate the configuration of the film story.
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From the mouth emerges tendrils of coarse string, symbolic of my fear over conveying such an expansive and complex story. But also mirroring the great difficulty people often face in describing forms of emotional trauma in the context of toxic relationships.
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Inside the skull sits a collection of crystals. I wanted to express the formative nature of trauma and that it's presence is often crystallised in the mind and expressed through complex negotiations of the self in future relationships.
The colour palette is relatively neutral and the painting left unfinished, to hold myself accountable to being open and allowing the film to naturally transform, and my participants to have an equal hand in its production.